Understanding the psychology of hate

As a child, I was the one kid in school upon whom everyone heaped their hatred. I was picked on mercilessly and, being a sensitive youth, I would frequently go home crying. This, of course, was exactly what my tormentors were striving for, and my mother would take me in hand and tell me they were jealous of me.

I didn’t understand any of this, of course. All I wanted was to live my own life and be left alone, but apparently these other children needed someone to feel superior to, as their own lives weren’t that impressive.

Hmmmm…

Friedrich Nietsche said “That which does not defeat me makes me stronger,” and in this case he was correct. I survived the experiences of a friendless childhood, came out stronger on the other side, and consider how many of my youthful peers have become conservatives with lives and careers (according to their social media feeds) that ended up feeling hopeless and unhappy.

I, on the other hand, have done quite well, thank you very much.

I share this tale because I look at the larger society we live in and draw a parallel. We are being run by a cohort that is conservative, cruel, and needs someone to blame for their own problems to make themselves feel better. And I’m reminded of a line from the movie The American President, where the president says of his Republican opponent:

"We have serious problems to solve, and we need serious people to solve them. And whatever your particular problem is, I promise you Bob Rumson is not the least bit interested in solving it. He is interested in two things, and two things only: Making you afraid of it, and telling you who's to blame for it. That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you win elections. You gather a group of middle age, middle class, middle income voters who remember with longing an easier time, and you talk to them about family and American values and character and you wave an old photo of the president's girlfriend and you scream about patriotism. You tell them she's to blame for their lot in life."

It’s funny how this 30-year-old movie, perhaps not coincidentally directed by the late Rob Reiner, almost perfectly describes the resident of the White House today. And if you insert Donald Trump’s name there, suddenly the quote

"We have serious problems to solve, and we need serious people to solve them. And whatever your particular problem is, I promise you Donald Trump is not the least bit interested in solving it. He is interested in two things, and two things only: Making you afraid of it, and telling you who's to blame for it. That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you win elections."

makes a LOT more sense.

However, as Mr. Nietsche observed, this can make us stronger. We’re certainly not going to go home crying.

Yet, just using the same tactics as our opponents won’t be enough for our success. We need to actually come up with some serious solutions to affordability, the erosion of civil liberties, homelessness, global warming, and the rest…and we, as a party, must find a better – and more unified – way of communicating our solutions.

Because the bullies won’t stop being mean. As my mother observed, they are jealous of us. We are nicer, smarter, and in the long run our solutions help more people. Now we just need to prove it.

Yeah, we’ve got our work cut out for us, but I’ll bet a week’s salary that we’re up to the challenge.

See you at the ballot box!

Rob