Thoughts for the New Year

People with narcissistic personality disorder have trouble handling anything they view as

criticism. They can:

• Become impatient or angry when they don't receive special recognition or treatment.

• Have major problems interacting with others and easily feel slighted.

• React with rage or contempt and try to belittle other people to make themselves appear superior.

• Have difficulty managing their emotions and behavior.

• Experience major problems dealing with stress and adapting to change.

• Withdraw from or avoid situations in which they might fail.

• Feel depressed and moody because they fall short of perfection.

• Have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, humiliation and fear of being exposed as a failure.”

My own father was a narcissist who believed none of the rules that applied to normal people ever applied to him. Everything wrong was always someone else’s fault, though he’d quickly take credit for anything good that happened around him.

He was racist, sexist, homophobic, and misogynistic…and those were his good points. Growing up in his shadow, I believed secrecy, lies, gaslighting, racist jokes, and dishonest double-dealing in business were all normal. This was just how things worked, and I automatically mimicked my father.

It took meeting my wife and witnessing her father’s positive business ethics, her mother’s quiet composure, and her family’s ability to communicate honestly to see there were other options besides lying your way through life.

Eventually I told my father to go away after recognizing that good people, positive activities, and truth can overcome the daily negativity being churned by even the biggest bullshit artist.

I’m not a Pollyanna. Love won’t save the day today, or tomorrow, or perhaps even within my lifetime.

However, looking over the long-term I can’t help but be cautiously optimistic that the good guys – those who are willing to speak the truth, face our problems, and provide examples of good ethics – will eventually come out on top.

Yeah, we’ve got this. See you at the ballot box!

Rob